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Stop dressing your six-year old like a skank : and other words of delicate Southern wisdom
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Fiction/Biography Profile
Southern life
Pop culture
- South (U.S.)
Time Period
2000s -- 21st century
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  Publishers Weekly Review

In some 32 short essays on the ridiculousness of modern life, Rivenbark (Bless Your Heart, Tramp; We're Just Like You, Only Prettier) wanders through Tweenland at the mall, thinking a better name would be "Lil Skanks." She thinks that the Cruise/Holmes pregnancy has an "indescribably delicious" Rosemary's Baby feel to it and recalls that Monica Lewinsky hosted a TV dating show-in which she "didn't get the guy." Rivenbark riffs on America's crazier obsessions-the painful but obligatory pilgrimage to Disney World, the new attention to "buttocks cleavage," coffee makers calling themselves baristas, or those celebrity moms who have "bumps" instead of babies. Rivenbark describes herself as a "slacker mom" and reminds readers to learn something from men-"because no matter how slack a dad is, if he does the least little thing, people gush over him." This is a hilarious read, perhaps best enjoyed while eating Krispy Kremes with a few girlfriends. (Sept.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Celia Rivenbark's essays about life in today's South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible <br>Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover: <br>* How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)<br>* Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons to hate them)<br>* EBay addiction and why "It ain't worth having if it ain't on eBay" (Whoa Is that Willie Nelson's face in your grits?)<br>* Why today's children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues<br>* And so much more <br>Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon line.
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