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Get it together! : an interior designer's guide to creating your best life
2017
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Summary
From the host of HGTV's Unspouse My House comes a laugh-out-loud, quote-to-your-friends hilarious book about interior decorating peppered with life advice.<br> <br> Move aside, Martha. Out of the way, Oprah. Pack your bags, Amy Sedaris. There's a new lifestyle guru in town! <br> <br> After getting his start years ago on HGTV, Orlando Soria has made his way to the upper strata of the blogosphere with Hommemaker, his blog about home décor, art, style, and life. His distinctive voice--funny, confessional, and honest--has made him the Dan Savage of millennial homemaking. Now he brings together his most original, endearing, and irreverent advice in one gorgeous book that will help readers out of all kinds of tight spots--whether it's throwing a dinner party when you're broke, hanging art like a gallery owner, or preparing your home for an unwanted guest. In sections on interior style, design, "Homme Life," DIY, and general life lessons, Orlando offers advice on topics such as "How to Make Non-Garbagey Flower Arrangements" and "How to Deal with a Soul-Sucking Breakup." He helps readers problem solve, avoid rookie mistakes, and choose a wall color that won't make them puke. Photographer Zeke Ruelas's stunning images accompany Orlando's tips on designing for dudes, making your own coffee table, and decorating a kid's room. Whether you're short on cash or have money to burn, Orlando's unique and highly contagious take on life will inspire, comfort, and reassure you that anyone can Get It Together!
Table of Contents
Introductionp. 9
Chapter 1Interior Design Fundamentals
When You Have a Gay Midlife Crisisp. 14
What to Do with That TV Moneyp. 22
Let's Face It, You Need a Beach Housep. 30
Creating a Home That Is Inviting Yet Intimidatingp. 38
When You Realize You're Losing Your Mind So You Move to Suburbiap. 46
When You Design Your Dream, Home with Your Boyfriend Then He Dumps Youp. 54
When You Finally Get Your Own Place After Living with Roommates Foreverp. 63
Chapter 2Design Tips-N-Tricks
Picking a Wall Color That Won't Make You Barfp. 74
Hanging Art Sucks Let's Do It Togetherp. 82
Selecting a Rug That's Not a Huge Bitchp. 88
Intergenerational Relationships: Mixing and Matching Vintage and Newp. 94
Common Rookie Mistakes to Avoidp. 100
Down in the Dumps: Creating a Post-Breakup Space Where Your Life Can Stop Suckingp. 104
Creating a Space That Reflects Your Awful Personalityp. 110
If Your Kids Are Brats It's Probably Your Fault for Not Making Their Rooms Cute Enoughp. 115
Crisis of Masculinity: Designing for Dudesp. 122
Chapter 3Homme Life
How to Make Non-Garbagey Flower Arrangementsp. 132
How to Throw a Major Ragerp. 135
What You Need in Your Dumb Kitchenp. 142
How to Throw a Dinner Party for Like No Moneyp. 146
Begrudgingly Hosting a Guestp. 152
How to Be Your Own Maidp. 158
Plant Your Rage in a Container Gardenp. 162
Chapter 4Life Advice
Living with a Roommate or Boyfriend Is Terriblep. 170
What to Do When All Your Friends Have Babies at Oncep. 174
What to Do When You Randomly Gain 50 Poundsp. 178
How to Deal with a Soul-Sucking Breakupp. 182
What to Do When You've Been Laid Off and Your Life Is Ruined Foreverp. 188
I Hate Your Weddingp. 193
Do You Hate Your Friends?p. 196
Chapter 5Do It Yourself
How to Make Your Own Orblando Out of Hardware Store Garbagep. 202
Make Your Own Goddamn Coffee Tablep. 206
A Basic Tray to Impress Your Friends Who Are Also Basicp. 211
I'm Ashamed of This Shitty DIYp. 216
A Side Piece For Your Sofap. 220
Making a Wooden Bench as Simple as Your Momp. 224
Life Is Meaningless Let's Make a Swing Shelfp. 228
Conclusionp. 232
Acknowledgmentsp. 234
Indexp. 235
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